"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." -Ps.27:13-14
We have found out that Nehemiah, our baby boy Due Dec. 16th., has a rare heart condition called truncus arteriosus . This in itself would be a huge hurtle, but we also found out that his kidneys are enlarged, one to the point of being too damaged to function and the other swollen, but still functioning to some point as there is plenty of amniotic fluid. If his one working kidney fails though, the Dr.s will not be able to operate on his heart and he will not survive. They also think he may have some chromosome abnormality because of small bones and cupped hands. We have not gotten testing done to see, and may soon, but are waiting to talk to our Dr. up here in Roseville. We've spent the past two days at Stanford getting ultrasounds and hearing bad news about his little body. Now it is waiting. Waiting for the next appointment. Waiting to see if his kidney will hold out. Waiting for weeks and months to go by so he will be able to grow! We have no guarantee of his life though- he may die before he is born. He may die shortly after he is born. All we have as a guarantee of is God's goodness and His promises!!
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said,
'Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD!' Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." -Job 1:20-22
We are so thankful. We are thankful that God has put brothers and sister in Christ around us to lift us up in prayer. We are thankful for this trial, that God would choose to have us walk though this to bring us closer to Himself and to cause us to trust in Him alone! It is a battle though, to keep my eyes on Christ and my mind filled with his Word. It is hard to not think of "what ifs" and to be at peace no matter what the outcome. We want to hold Nehemiah, to know him, to see him grow! But we desire to see God more and we pray for His help and strength to rest in Him! It will be a long road these next couple months, but God has promised to be with us. We picked the name Nehemiah before we even knew I was expecting, and how amazing that it means "God Comforts". He is so faithful to comfort and strengthen His people. May He be glorified!!
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength..."-Isaiah 30:15