Monday, January 2, 2012

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him-Job 13:15

The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.-Job 1:21

What more can we say? We have cried out and He has answered. He has done what is right and what is good and what is wise. Not what I have wanted. Losing our sweet boy, our little love, has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Holding my baby as he slowly slipped away was the most agonizing thing I have ever walked through. Yet, it wasn't. The LORD was with us. In the pain we had peace and strength. 
I have wrestled with the why. I have cried out for Nehemiah's life since around week 20 of pregnancy. We have cried out, our friends, our families have cried out, has the LORD not heard? But as I've gotten some time to reflect, I see the LORD answering prayer all around us. We have given thanks for the sweet time we had with Nehemiah, we thank God for each moment, each hour we had for those 19 precious days. Each time we got to hold him and marvel at his tiny parts. To look into his eyes and to cherish him. We thank God for taking him quickly, for not allowing him to suffer. We thank Him for making our time with Nehemiah joyful and sweet even with all of the unknowns. We thank God that we were able to be with him as he slipped away. We were able to sing hymns of praise and of comfort and to pray over Nehemiah as he climbed from our arms into the arms of our great and loving Father. Yes, are hearts are broken. Yes, we wake up at night just wanting to hold our sweet boy again.  But we also have peace and assurance that this was God's will for our baby boy and we are so thankful our lives do not end here. We are made for eternity. Nehemiah will never cease to be. We will see him again. And the most glorious, we will be before the LORD worshiping Him for eternity together! We live for the day that we will behold the glory of the Lamb that was slain! May He be praised! Blessed be the name of the LORD.

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words."-1Thess. 4:13-18

1 comment:

  1. we are mourning and praising with you. God alone is sovereign. our lives are meant for His glory. we will continue to pray for the 2 of you as you move through these days. may the Lord continue to comfort and hold you. we are eternal. i look forward to meeting your boy and laughing with him in heaven.