We had another appointment with the urologist this past week. It was basically the same news, his right kidney is multi-cystic and not working, the left is very swollen and not looking good, but it is still seeming to function. They have to wait until he's born to see if he will need surgery or not on that kidney. If it stops working before he is born, they will have to take him out early. They have me on a two week amniotic fluid check. It has been normal this far, praise the LORD! I have another check today and am praying it is still at a good level, but the LORD is in control.
I was also reading in Hebrews and thinking about the discipline of God. We know from His word that He delights in blessing His children, but He also desires us to be holy as He is holy and uses the trials of this life to refine us and cause us to cling and to trust in Him. We would not know the depths of His love and compassion if we wen't poor and needy!
"For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,
“MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD,
NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM;
FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES,
AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES.”
It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whomhis father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but Hedisciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb.
There is so much also in His word about rejoicing in hardship, rejoicing and giving thanks and praying continually.
"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."- 1Thes. 5:16-18
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:4-7
And I was thinking the LORD is bringing us through this hard trial and using it in our lives because He has accepted us as His own that we may share in His Holiness!! That is definitely cause for rejoicing!! He has accepted us as sons and daughters!! We may be assured of His good intentions for us because of Christ. And He is perfecting His work in us NOW! I know He will carry us and strengthen us. Life brings trials and hardship, but as we rejoice, pray and give thanks in all things we draw more and more near the One who loves us more than we can comprehend.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
It's hard to believe it's already October and Nehemiah is set to arrive in December! It feels like I have been pregnant for so long, yet only two months til his birth seems so quick. This has definitely been a faith walk and there is no end in sight. When we first found out about Nehemiah's kidneys I did a ton of research on-line, and then did the same when we found out about his heart issue. Now that we know he has a rare chromosome issue, Jacobson Syndrome, with additional chromosome information, where do I go? The Dr's are unsure about what this will mean. I can't google for the answers. I must go to the Creator who knows all things. It is amazing how He has hemmed us in. We cannot follow our natural instinct and try and take matters into our own hands, predict the outcome, prepare for what is up ahead. All we know is that Nehemiah is in His hands and He is good and He is in control. Then we must rest. Rest and wait upon Him continually. It is exciting knowing that He is at work yet it is hard to not focus on my weakness. I keep picturing over and over Peter walking on the waves to Jesus and as soon as he took his eyes off the Lord and saw the waves he started to sink, yet the Lord in His compassion and strength reaches out to catch him even in his weakness.
But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"-Matt 14:30
I know at the end of this trial, at the end of this life, we will look back and see God's faithfulness and loving kindness etched into every detail of our lives and we will say," LORD, why did I ever doubt You?!"
"Let the heart of those who seek the LORD be glad. Seek the LORD and His strength: Seek His face continually."-ps. 105:3-4
But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"-Matt 14:30
I know at the end of this trial, at the end of this life, we will look back and see God's faithfulness and loving kindness etched into every detail of our lives and we will say," LORD, why did I ever doubt You?!"
"Let the heart of those who seek the LORD be glad. Seek the LORD and His strength: Seek His face continually."-ps. 105:3-4
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Walking a long road...
"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." -Ps.27:13-14
We have found out that Nehemiah, our baby boy Due Dec. 16th., has a rare heart condition called truncus arteriosus . This in itself would be a huge hurtle, but we also found out that his kidneys are enlarged, one to the point of being too damaged to function and the other swollen, but still functioning to some point as there is plenty of amniotic fluid. If his one working kidney fails though, the Dr.s will not be able to operate on his heart and he will not survive. They also think he may have some chromosome abnormality because of small bones and cupped hands. We have not gotten testing done to see, and may soon, but are waiting to talk to our Dr. up here in Roseville. We've spent the past two days at Stanford getting ultrasounds and hearing bad news about his little body. Now it is waiting. Waiting for the next appointment. Waiting to see if his kidney will hold out. Waiting for weeks and months to go by so he will be able to grow! We have no guarantee of his life though- he may die before he is born. He may die shortly after he is born. All we have as a guarantee of is God's goodness and His promises!!
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said,
'Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD!' Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." -Job 1:20-22
We are so thankful. We are thankful that God has put brothers and sister in Christ around us to lift us up in prayer. We are thankful for this trial, that God would choose to have us walk though this to bring us closer to Himself and to cause us to trust in Him alone! It is a battle though, to keep my eyes on Christ and my mind filled with his Word. It is hard to not think of "what ifs" and to be at peace no matter what the outcome. We want to hold Nehemiah, to know him, to see him grow! But we desire to see God more and we pray for His help and strength to rest in Him! It will be a long road these next couple months, but God has promised to be with us. We picked the name Nehemiah before we even knew I was expecting, and how amazing that it means "God Comforts". He is so faithful to comfort and strengthen His people. May He be glorified!!
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength..."-Isaiah 30:15
We have found out that Nehemiah, our baby boy Due Dec. 16th., has a rare heart condition called truncus arteriosus . This in itself would be a huge hurtle, but we also found out that his kidneys are enlarged, one to the point of being too damaged to function and the other swollen, but still functioning to some point as there is plenty of amniotic fluid. If his one working kidney fails though, the Dr.s will not be able to operate on his heart and he will not survive. They also think he may have some chromosome abnormality because of small bones and cupped hands. We have not gotten testing done to see, and may soon, but are waiting to talk to our Dr. up here in Roseville. We've spent the past two days at Stanford getting ultrasounds and hearing bad news about his little body. Now it is waiting. Waiting for the next appointment. Waiting to see if his kidney will hold out. Waiting for weeks and months to go by so he will be able to grow! We have no guarantee of his life though- he may die before he is born. He may die shortly after he is born. All we have as a guarantee of is God's goodness and His promises!!
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said,
'Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD!' Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." -Job 1:20-22
We are so thankful. We are thankful that God has put brothers and sister in Christ around us to lift us up in prayer. We are thankful for this trial, that God would choose to have us walk though this to bring us closer to Himself and to cause us to trust in Him alone! It is a battle though, to keep my eyes on Christ and my mind filled with his Word. It is hard to not think of "what ifs" and to be at peace no matter what the outcome. We want to hold Nehemiah, to know him, to see him grow! But we desire to see God more and we pray for His help and strength to rest in Him! It will be a long road these next couple months, but God has promised to be with us. We picked the name Nehemiah before we even knew I was expecting, and how amazing that it means "God Comforts". He is so faithful to comfort and strengthen His people. May He be glorified!!
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength..."-Isaiah 30:15
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